Asking, Knocking, Waiting for Response

Last night I read this verse, which really spoke to me:
"Ask and it will be given to you; searh and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks recieves, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knock, the door will be opened." (Luke 11:9-10)

I am asking these days for God's spirit to fill me, to lift my spirits (and those of our whole team), to return to me my motivation to study spanish and practice it more, to find my purpose in being here and more ways to serve. To fill me with love, Christ's love, so that I can give and recieve love freely. I don't want my time to pass here without notice, without a change in my life. Hmm. I think things just feel harder too around Christmas time. I'm missing family, friends, church, and traditions. Today, us RADers cooked ourselves a Christmas dinner (chicken, mashed potatoe casserole, creamed corn, salad, apple crisp), and decorated the little Christmas tree Frieda and Delbert left in their house while they spend a month in Canada and the U.S. It was fun, but I think it left us all a bit melancholy and homesick.

Even though I feel like I am going through a dry spell in my spiritual and emotional life right now, I continue to hold onto the hope that God has a purpose for me being here, and that it will be revealed to me. Adjusting to living in a new culture and building meaningful relationships in a new community (moreover in a different language) takes time. We've been here about 2 months. I need to give myself grace. Can't expect to be perfect at Spanish and have best friends here yet. But, God is still working in my life, and here. I feel like I am so close to God, but that my soul is covered with a blanket. I can sense that God is calling me to be in closer relationship, I sense that the Spirit is ready to fill me, I'm just not sure what I need to do to reach that place. It is at the times that I don't feel like I can pray or don't have the motivation to spend time with God each day that I most need to. Pray for the ability to pray.

Amidst my feelings of laziness, frustration, and sadness, I still give thanks. I have good health. My family here loves me--there have been moments where I have been able to share more personally how I'm doing and talk about faith matters with Clara and Marcos, which has been a blessing. Our RAD team gets along very well, and we support each other. We meet each week to pray for each other, and soon I am going to start leading us in a study of an essay by Susan Classen ("A Spirituality of Service: Freely Give, Freely Receive"). I am able to understand more of the sermons, and I think more of Castellano in general, although it is so hard to gauge how much I am learning.

Two weeks ago, the four of us RADers traveled along with 12 people from the church on a viaje misionero into the campo, the brush desert surrounding most of Choele Choel. Their we visited two small pueblos (villages), meeting and visiting people in the town the church has built relationships with, and worshipping with them. I saw the beauty and power of God working even in the most isolated places on the Earth. What a wonderful time it was to see more of Argentina, practice spanish (5 hours in a bus on dirt roads, laughing, singing, playing cards), and worship with growing Christians who have hardly any wordly possessions yet depend on God and hunger for Christ in their lives. On the return to Choele from the desert, we stopped in a town where the church doesn't know many people. We broke off into groups and just began greeting people. Along with two other women, I was invited into the home of a woman to share juice. My first real "mission" experience. Just showing the love of Christ through building friendships. Next month we will visit the same villages to continue to strengthen bonds, and support the small circle of believers and seekers. There is so much for me to learn from these missionaries and the people in the villages. I look forward to these monthly experiences.

Sorry for the awfully long blog, and for being so silent for so long on this blog. I've been quite lazy, and I apologize. I think of you all, my beloveds, fondly and often, and hope that the peace of Christ is bestowed on you all this Christmas. While snow brings a "silent night" in Northern Indiana, this Christmas will be brought in with fireworks (as is tradition here). Blessings, and Merry Christmas!