Spiritual Direction

It is interesting that I titled this blog 'The Joyful Journey'. I think that is both a prophecy and a challenge for me--God is revealing himself to me during this year, but I am challenged to constantly seek God. And, as most journeys go, there are moments of sore feet, detours, new discoveries, and reliance on fellow pilgrims.
A challenge for me lately has been learning to open myself up to my fellow "pilgrims", the other members on my RAD team. We enjoy each other's company, and have been living well together, but our conversations haven't quite gone to a deeper level yet. Learning to become vulnerable and trusting with people I have only known two weeks is scary and new for me. But, today our group had our first session with our once-a-week spiritual director, Brenda Matthews.
"Mama" Brenda lives and works in Chicago with HIV/Aids awarness, is connected with the Mennonite churches, and is a poet pregnant with passion for bringing God's kingdom here on earth. I was nervous (and a bit disappointed) when I heard that we were going to have group spiritual direction, as opposed to individual time with her, but our first meeting dramatically changed my thoughts.
She invited us each to share our testimonies (a word that carries some fear for me), but in doing so, a great sense of openness and trust was released. We shared our responses to the new situations we were facing while living in this new culture, 'the hood', and shared our fears that we weren't making any difference here. I admitted that being here for only 8 weeks didn't seem like a lot of time to develop friendships, or even impact lives in any way.
With the faith of someone in close relationship with God, and prophetic words, she told us that our stories do matter, our actions here, no matter how small they may seem, will affect people in this neighborhood. Telling our stories to the world is what God wants us to do, and our experiences of coming through pain may be just what someone needs to hear. We are God's vessels, God has called each of us here, and God will use us for his work. Hearing this reassured me that yes, I do have a purpose for being here, that I do have a testimony, that God loves me and is with me on this journey.
I pray for more meaningful encounters with people in this neighborhood, and for a continuing sense of Christ's presence with me as I face the mundance, exciting, and scary things here in Chicago.