Oct 2006

Today marked my last day at home in the U.S., and I feel like I am at the edge of the waterfall of the rest of my life. Maybe that is exaggerating a bit, but tommorow morning Dad drives me to O'Hare in Chicago where I catch my plane to Argentina. I am heading into the unknown, but have the comfort of knowing a place is being prepared for me there ; I have a family in Argentina who I will live with (I will be living with a young couple who have a two-year-old daughter); I have the prayers and love of my family and church here, and most importantly the comfort of knowing God will be with me.
Last Saturday, October 21, our RAD group had a commissioning service next door to our house in Chicago, at the First Church of the Brethren. The pastor of the church (Orlando Redekop) gave us a blessing as did other RAD staff, and Jordan and I each shared about 5 min of reflections. A prayer with candles was said for each of us, and I was overwhelmed with a sense of love for my fellow teammates, and an awareness of the ways God had changed me in the short two months.

My mom was able to be at the commissioning, and then returned me to Elkhart, where I have been busy packing for 8 months (a headache, really!). This morning, my Connection Team (Alan and Eleanor Krieder, Marty and John Bender, Paula Snyder, and my parents) had a breakfast at my home. Yet again, I felt the presence of God, as I shared what I had learned, and was surrounded in prayer:

- Faith isn't about reaching a destination of perfect "holiness". It is acknowleding your weakness, your need for Christ, and striving to follow Christ's way through all of life.
- Being a leader is less about taking control, than it is listening, encouraging others, loving with the love of God. I'm not always meant to be in control.
- Church can be as small as six. The tuesdays and thursdays the six of us meant to pray for each other and spiritually guide one another were profound and holy. I also realized I can have a family away from my home family.
- God has a call for my life that is bigger than any of my ideas or plans. I just make God laugh when I try to plan out my life, because really, God is behind the steering wheel.
- It takes 3 1/2 hours to ride the Blue "El" (train) line from beginning to end. (Not the most important thing I learned in Chicago, but I sure did get a good taste of the city )
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Lot of learning done. Lots to go. And now, to bed. Yikes! I've got about 42 hours of traveling starting at 8 am tommorow morning. Well, greetings next from Choele Choel. Peace

my email address: andreakraybill@yahoo.com

After getting caught in a thunderstorm in Millenium Park, by the lake, and eating my Subway sandwich with my group while cold and damp, it is quite nice to sit cozily at home and reflect. Lots of reflecting going on lately.

Some happy things that have happened lately:

-a wonderful Thai meal at a restaurant I went to with Leah and Nate (RAD participants)
-worship on Sunday at Living Water Community Church, a Mennonite church on the North side of the city (wonderful diversity, sense of fellowship and welcome, and making a peaceful presence in the often violent community)
-news that Laura (my dear sister) is coming to visit this upcoming weekend
-beautiful fall weather!
-great teachers--this morning a session on the Holy Spirit by
Sally Younquist, pastor of Living Water

Now, some reflections

I am starting to come to terms with the fact that this journey will never end. I think I often see faith as reaching new "levels", as if there is a certain attainable goal. In the process of "getting there" it is easy to be frustrated when hard times do come. When I doubt or am in pain I worry that I'm not making progress in my faith. What is progress? What does a mature faith look like? Not having pain? I don't think that is true. Maybe it means trusting God even while one's faith goes through cycles of joy and sadness. Going into this year, I imagined that by the end, I would have reached a new level of intimacy with God, that I would have a completely clear vision of my life ahead of me, and that I wouldn't feel the need to question my faith as much. With this attitude, I succumb to the Western mentality of always needing to make progress and improve. I still do hope for all these things, but I understand that if I come out of this year in RAD still at a questioning place, that will be okay. I don't have to have my whole faith and life figured out. I want to accept what God shows me this year, and give thanks for the experiences I am having. Give thanks for what God is doing in my life, without needing to worry so much about getting somewhere. Be able to rest assured in God's love and call to me, even while I don't know what lies ahead.
My challenge is to find a balance between constantly seeking for God's call to me, asking questions, reaching for intimacy with God, while still taking time to listen, live in the present, and live joyfully in thanks to God.

Thanks to all who are praying for me--lo necesito mucho (I need it a lot) Peace to you all!

Being a part of God’s big plan for peace is both exciting and scary. Exciting because I know that God is and will use me to help bring shalom to the earth. Scary, because that means I have to sacrifice my own desire to follow God’s will. What will happen if I truly live a life of complete discipleship? What will happen to me, where will I go, how will I change? The unknowns frighten me, because I like to know what is going on—I like to plan ahead.
This year is one of those “unknown” periods of my life, where God is forcing me to trust in him. I can no longer rely on my own abilities and forethought, because I am unable to know what lies ahead this year. Trusting in God completely is a hard thing for me to do, but when I am able to trust, I know I won’t be going in the wrong direction.
I’ve been learning to trust God more in my short time here in Chicago. Trusting that I will be safe in this neighborhood; that living in community will be an enriching experience; that my presence at our service locations will make a difference; that I will be sufficiently prepared for entering Argentina in a month.

“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then, when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:17.

This year in RAD is part of God’s plan for my life, part of my future with hope. I pray that in my year of seeking, I will trust, and find.