The Joyful Journey

Me and Dad in front of my house, the Faith house

Now at half-way point here in my training, I am reflecting on how things are going. There have been both positives and negatives. Positives would include learning to live in community, experiencing Chicago in a new way, having cross-cultural experiences, and working more on personal spiritual disciplines. Some things that have been bothering me--our teachings (which have been very well taught), have seemed sporatic, because our teachers only come to teach for a morning, and each teaches on a different topic. There isn't much connectedness between them. I think one of the major reasons for the sense of lack of structure in our days here is due to finanical concerns. RAD is at a pivotal point right now. Since changing it's focus to more Anabaptist theology (and being under new direction) this year, it lost some of its previous support from certain churches. This has resulted in financial strain--part of which is played out in the fact that there is no full-time staff person that lives with us here in Chicago. The Board of Directors for RAD have struggled over what the focus of RAD should be, and whether training or the outreach portion should take priority. Much of what happens this year for me and my group will determine the future structure of RAD, and if RAD continues at all. I feel like this program has so much potential, and although it is frustrating at times to be in the midst of transition, I know that God has a reason for me being here. God called me to this year of service, and I pray for the faith to trust in God and do God's work.

Some prayer requests:
- that I may be encouraged and feel secure in God's purpose for
me
-strength for the RAD staff as they guide us
-peace for this Chicago neighborhood, and for the work that God
is preparing for us in Argentina
-that the last portion of this training would be a fruitful time,
and prepare us for what lies ahead

I keep all my family, friends, and Brothers and Sisters at Prairie Street in my prayers. Hope you are all well, and would love to hear how things are going back home!

It is interesting that I titled this blog 'The Joyful Journey'. I think that is both a prophecy and a challenge for me--God is revealing himself to me during this year, but I am challenged to constantly seek God. And, as most journeys go, there are moments of sore feet, detours, new discoveries, and reliance on fellow pilgrims.
A challenge for me lately has been learning to open myself up to my fellow "pilgrims", the other members on my RAD team. We enjoy each other's company, and have been living well together, but our conversations haven't quite gone to a deeper level yet. Learning to become vulnerable and trusting with people I have only known two weeks is scary and new for me. But, today our group had our first session with our once-a-week spiritual director, Brenda Matthews.
"Mama" Brenda lives and works in Chicago with HIV/Aids awarness, is connected with the Mennonite churches, and is a poet pregnant with passion for bringing God's kingdom here on earth. I was nervous (and a bit disappointed) when I heard that we were going to have group spiritual direction, as opposed to individual time with her, but our first meeting dramatically changed my thoughts.
She invited us each to share our testimonies (a word that carries some fear for me), but in doing so, a great sense of openness and trust was released. We shared our responses to the new situations we were facing while living in this new culture, 'the hood', and shared our fears that we weren't making any difference here. I admitted that being here for only 8 weeks didn't seem like a lot of time to develop friendships, or even impact lives in any way.
With the faith of someone in close relationship with God, and prophetic words, she told us that our stories do matter, our actions here, no matter how small they may seem, will affect people in this neighborhood. Telling our stories to the world is what God wants us to do, and our experiences of coming through pain may be just what someone needs to hear. We are God's vessels, God has called each of us here, and God will use us for his work. Hearing this reassured me that yes, I do have a purpose for being here, that I do have a testimony, that God loves me and is with me on this journey.
I pray for more meaningful encounters with people in this neighborhood, and for a continuing sense of Christ's presence with me as I face the mundance, exciting, and scary things here in Chicago.

Whenever I think I have God somewhat figured out, God decides to shake me up and keep on stretching me. One of these occasions came on Saturday evening, when the six of us visited "The House", a hip-hop church in a nearby neighborhood. I am looking forward to visiting different churches this year in RAD (although I love PSMC with all my heart), but I didn't know what to expect at this hip-hop church.
We entered the worhsip-room, and my first thought was, "I feel like I'm in a dance club". If one imagines the exact opposite worship-style of Prarie Street, and most other Mennonite churches, I think this would be it. With disco lights, loud pumping-bass beats, rappers, and a hip-hop dancing troupe, it was a challenge for me to accept that this was a form of worship. I must say that I definitely felt out of place at moments, seeing that our RAD group is very not hip-hop (and very white). I didn't really understand much of what the rappers were saying, but I came to the realization that God was here in this place, and speaking through this music.
I saw beauty in the dancing of the congregation there (mostly teenagers), the passionate preaching of the pastor (donned in rapper-style jeans, and an X-large t-shirt with Jesus' face on it), and the emotion-filled rappers. It amazes me that God is so big that people of every race, culture, tradition, and language are able to worship in their own way. I saw the beauty of God through this new style of worship, and even though I don't think I could worship that way every week (because it isn't my tradition), it was refreshing to see the body of Christ in a surprising new way.